“Mercury is in retrograde. So is the chart.”
11 is the floor: crypto is never 0% poof. Each signal pushes the index up (red) or down (green) compared with a typical coin:
Context (shown, not scored)
Satire. Not financial advice. Poof risk and the Poof Chaos Index are computed mechanically from public market data (CoinGecko, alternative.me); they are not claims that any project is a scam. Do your own research, then do it again.
Derivatives positioning from Binance futures. Shown as context — not part of the Poof Index.
| Chain | Address | Explorer |
|---|---|---|
| Ethereum | 0x9b61…2096 | Explorer ↗ |
| BNB Smart Chain | 0xff7d…6b41 | Explorer ↗ |
| Base | 0xd612…7660 | Explorer ↗ |
| Berachain | 0xd352…4087 | Explorer ↗ |
Links go to third-party sites and are not an endorsement. Always check the contract address before trading.